Ah Shit Here We Go Again Mortal Kombat

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Quotes

• Kano : [tears Reptile's centre out] Kano wins. You fuckin' beauty.

• Liu Kang : You're angry.

  Kano : Oh, fucking nothing gets past you, does information technology?

  Liu Kang : Proficient. Y'all should be.

  Kung Lao : Yous failure.

  Kano : Failure? Fucking failure? Permit me educate y'all, motherfucker. I'm Kano! I'm the Blackness fucking Dragon! And who are you two, huh? Y'all're some fucking cavern-dwelling hippie twirling his anal beads, taking orders from this Wushu wanker who wears a hubcap as a helmet! Now, sit down, shut up and laissez passer me a fucking egg roll!

• Liu Kang : [to Kano well-nigh Kung Lao] Allow me inquire you lot this. Why would you jeopardize the goodwill of the just chance of your survival?

  Kano : Princess, why don't yous effort being i of them silent monks?

  Liu Kang : No, no, you misunderstand. He is here to save you because you lot cannot save yourself.

  Kano : Oh fuck, here we get...

  Liu Kang : You're like... an aggressive little bunny. Soft and useless. Angry mentally, physically.

  [gestures to Kung Lao]

  Liu Kang : Y'all should be on your knees earlier this man.

  Kano : [standing up] I've a better idea. How about you two get on your knees and have turns sucking my sack? Practice you have any fucking idea who you're talking to? I'k wanted in over 35 countries for shit y'all fucking ballerinas couldn't even imagine!

• Kano : [to Kung Lao] Well, how nigh I accept that stupid fucking sombrero you're wearing, shove information technology and then far up your ass, yous start speaking Spanish.

• Sonya Blade : [describing Kano to Cole] He's a mercenary with The Black Dragon association. Arms dealer, drug runner, murder-for-hire, scum of the Earth.

  Kano : I besides give really good foot massages.

• Sonya Bract : I was tracking some other champion. I was lucky enough to observe Kano here instead. Right after he slit the guy's throat.

  Kano : You lot know, side by side fourth dimension exist more punctual.

• Kano : Alright, just circumvoluted back on those superpowers. I think I go it now. It'southward kinda like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get. Is information technology gonna be fireballs? Is information technology gonna be lightning? Huh? Could be shit. Could be a Frisbee hat, you know? No offense, whoever y'all are.

  Kung Lao : The name is Kung Lao. Descendant of the Great Kung Lao. The 1000 champion of the Order of Low-cal.

  Kano : Never heard of him.

• Kano : [fighting Sonya] You owe me three million dollars!

• Sonya Blade : You lot were never chosen. Fate has better standards than you.

  Kano : Lucky for you lot I don't take any standards.

• Liu Kang : There are not many of u.s. with the marking left, so you must train harder and fast. Considering if you fail to notice your inner power, you will never defeat your opponent. They will ravage everything yous hold dear. There will be no mercy. You must fight without question. The Dragon has swallowed many earlier us.

  [to Kano, who has stolen Shinnok's amulet during his spoken language]

  Liu Kang : Now, put that dorsum.

  Kano : Put what back?

• Kabal : This is fucking tragic. Look at yourself. Y'all used to exist someone to fright. You've fallen downward a long mode since you led the Black Dragon.

  Kano : You lot don't tell me most the Black Dragon. I am the Black Dragon!

  Kabal : Which one's your boss? Allow me estimate, the blonde?

  Kano : Is that mask cutting off your air supply, you dumb prick? I don't take orders from anyone, Kabal!

  Kabal : So, you're on the wrong side. Fight with us and y'all could take more than money than you know what to exercise with. Hell, y'all could plow this old temple into your own casino if you wanted to. Just proper noun your price, then double it and double it over again. What are you waiting for, asshole?

  Kano : So, what would I need to do?

• [Sonya throws a pocketknife at Reptile, but hits Kano]

  Kano : The fuck was that? That was my pocketknife, also! Fucking poetry.

• Kano : There I was trying to shove this guy'due south nuts down his pharynx. And all I kept thinking nigh for me mum for Christmas?

  Cargo Aeroplane Pilot : Your mom's been dead for 30 fucking years, mate.

  Kano : Child tin dream. Can't he?

• Kano : A laser beam! It'south better than fireballs, you pussy!

• Kano : Uh, yous got a pen? Y'all want to write this down? Get fucked. 'Cause I'm not gonna help yous. You kidnapped me. Yous tied me up. You threw a knife through my fucking leg, on purpose. And then that lizard thing took off one-half my face up. Lucky for me, you tin inappreciably notice information technology.

• Kano : [to Sonya] I think I know what's going on here. You're jealous, girlie, of my picayune mark.

  [Sonya ignores him; Kano shoves her]

  Kano : Hey, I'm talking to you. If you want information technology and then much, all you got to do is impale me. Accept it. Now, come on. What do yous say? Y'all desire to trip the light fantastic toe?

• Cole Young : [as Kano is cartoon a picture of himself killing Reptile] What are you doing?

  Kano : Just working on a Kano graphic novel. I fancy myself a bit of an creative person.

  Cole Young : He'southward a psychopath.

  Kano : Well, all the best artists are a fiddling twisted, mate.

• Sonya Blade : How do you lot plan on getting the states at that place?

  Kano : I've got a friend with a plane.

  Cole Young : You lot've got friends?

  Kano : Hey, fuck you, pretty boy. I'one thousand a popular guy. Anybody loves me.

• Kung Lao : I'll dumb it down for you. Fatty lazy sus scrofa.

  Kano : What did you say?

  Kung Lao : Terrible fighter... nothing skill.

  Kano : Yous got a death wish, mate?

  Kung Lao : Combat takes intelligence, simply you... You're similar a domestic dog. A domestic dog who fails his training classes.

• Kabal : Well well well, you backstabbing, ii-faced, ugly motherfucker.

  Kano : [chuckles] Kabal.

  Kabal : Hey, Kano. Information technology'south been a while.

  Kano : You getting enough sleep, mate? Your eyes are a little redder than usual.

  Kabal : Yous've got a big mouth for someone who's standing on the incorrect side of the electric fence, tough guy.

• Cole Young : Who are y'all?

  Sonya Bract : He's Kano.

  Cole Young : Kano? Kano what?

  Kano : Kano None-of-your-fucking-business!

  Cole Young : Was that Russian?

  Kano : Practise I sound Russian to you, you fuckin' idiot?

• Cole Immature : What about you lot? Where's your marker?

  Sonya Blade : I don't have i.

  Kano : Wah-wah!

• Sonya Blade : Anybody's got a cost. Proper noun yours.

  Kano : You can't afford me.

  Sonya Blade : 2 million.

  Kano : That's proficient. You live in this shithole, and y'all got two million dollars? Sus scrofa's arse.

  Sonya Bract : I have lived hither my whole life, you piece of shit. You lot watch your oral cavity. 2 one thousand thousand dollars. Yep. Nah, fuck ya.

  Kano : Fuck it. Three million. That'due south my final offering. And annihilation I find inside that temple, I continue! No fucking splitsies! Plus, if yous're bullshitting me, I'll fucking kill ya. It's no skin off my sack.

  Sonya Bract : Swell! Sounds like nosotros got a deal.

  Kano : I was gonna head in that location anyway. Ya fuckin' idiot!

• Sonya Bract : This is where we keep all we've learned about the dragon markings. First learned about this 7 years ago. Jax and I were on a mission in Brazil to capture a wanted fugitive. When we got there, the target had superhuman abilities. Tore through our unit in seconds. The target had the same mark you practise, Cole. When Jax finally took it downwardly the dragon mark transferred directly onto his skin. I've spent years trying to figure out what it all means. Seems that throughout history, different cultures all over the earth, they reference a groovy tournament. My research shows that in that location's realms and species that we didn't even know existed. That dragon marking, it signifies that you've been chosen to fight for Earth. It'southward an invitation to fight for something known as Mortal Kombat.

  Cole Young : [in slight disbelief] Did you brand that concluding part up? It but kind of sounds like you made information technology up.

  [points at 'Kombat']

  Cole Young : And look, they spelled it wrong.

  Sonya Blade : Hey, you listen to me! I think in that location'due south another tournament coming. That'south why you're here. That is why Jax and I take been tracking y'all. Because we need to observe every last champion before it's too late. And FYI, most of them are expressionless already. There'due south more to this, Cole. I know it. And I swear to God, I'm gonna become to the bottom of it.

  Kano : I hate to interrupt your bullshit, blondie! Well, I gotta piss over again.

• Liu Kang : [seeing Cole, Sonya, and Kano for the first fourth dimension] Finally, you have come to seek out Raiden'south Temple.

  Kano : [subsequently being hit with Liu Kang's fireball] Fuck the temple! Await! Y'all just shot a fireball outta your hand. How'd yous practice that? Hang on, hang the fuck on. Does that mean I'one thousand gonna get superpowers at any point?

• Kano : Alright, cheers for flying Air Kano! I know yous had fuck all choices. Tray tables upwardly! Time to jump out of this shitbox!

• Liu Kang : [Touches Kano'south shoulder] There's much to larn.

  Kano : The fuck?

• Sonya Blade : And so how close are nosotros?

  Kano : 27, 28 thousand's. Maybe thirty to be safe. Allow's circular it up to 32 eh? Nosotros say 35 there'll exist no surprises.

• Kano : [later on destroying Raiden's shield] You know the problem with these new lightning sticks? They just don't make 'em similar they used to.

• Sonya Blade : [Kano is sitting in Sonya's house trailer, drinking up her beer] Oh, brand yourself at domicile.

  Kano : Yes, I have. Oh, past the way, your beer'southward shit and you lot're almost out of it.

• Kano : [later getting leg-sweeped by Liu Kang over and over again] Is that the simply move yous know, mate?

• Kano : New guy, get me out of here. I could assistance you.

  Cole Young : Merely stay put.

  Kano : I was about to get for a stroll, but possibly I'll stick around, you fucking idiot!

• Sonya Bract : [Sonya, Cole, and Kano are about to jump out the cargo plane] Kickoff fourth dimension?

  Cole Young : Yeah, what gave it away?

  Sonya Blade : You'll be okay. Simply gotta jump, count to three, pull this side.

  Cole Young : Alright, unproblematic. Only how...

  Kano : Well, exercise or die, princess!

  [Kano shoves Cole out the plane]

  Kano : [to Sonya] What?

  Sonya Blade : Yous're fucking kidding me!

  [Kano flips Sonya the bird as he dives off]

• Kano : [recognizing Jax] You're fucking kidding me, aren't yous?

  [laughing]

  Kano : Fucking hell. Is he on our side?

  [commenting on Jax's new arms]

  Kano : Those are great, mate. They make those in men's sizes?

• Kano : [after Cole loses to Kung Lao] You know, perhaps your Arcana is getting your ass kicked by a lid.

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293429/characters/nm0493257

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